The Nomads

The Nomads

The Nomads. Who are they? Well, long story short it is the name of the amateur (Or to be politically correct let’s call it “Recreational”) football team I have assembled with friends and friends of friends to join a local league. I had the pleasure of choosing this name for it since I am the so-called “team captain”. I’ve only been given that captain title due to the fact that to the organizers I am the contact person whenever anything happens or when there are any updates to be shared. Thankfully none of my teammates have misbehaved so far.

Deciding on the name did not take me long, I think it was a matter of seconds, but it was a name/description of me that I have had in the back of my mind for some time now, for almost a year to be precise. As some of you might know my family moved out of town (Moved to Amman from Dubai) last summer, when they were in the middle of that emotional process I asked my mother what ‘Home’ was to me and my sisters. I’ll come back to what her answer was in a bit.

My actual home, where we were born and brought up is the UAE. Our parents and most of our uncles were born and where we are originally from is a village in the West Bank called Burqa, which is A quiet village in the hills on the outskirts of Nablus province in Palestine. It is right next to Jenin in case you are wondering. I’ve only been to Palestine once in the early 1990’s as a kid, and I don’t remember much of it really. Myself, my parents and my sisters are officially Jordanian citizens, and we have been going to Amman once a year or more for the past 13 or so years and I’ve become quite familiar with it since I’ve had the pleasure of going back more often than they did (Averaged 2 visits a year since 2007).

Alright so I am officially Jordanian, born and raised I the UAE and with strong family and emotional ties to Palestine. Going back to my question, she believes that home is where one was brought up, studied and had most of his or her memories in, which is the UAE in my case (And my sisters). With my family being in Amman that makes me feel that our house there is the ‘most homely’, where it is probably the most comfortable and welcoming place to me in the world. What I would like to be my home one day is Palestine, preferably Nablus or Jerusalem. Far-fetched if you look at the current state of affairs in the West Bank and Palestine in general, but a couple of years ago nobody could have foreseen the uprisings that took the Arab leaders by surprise and already managed to overthrow a couple of people.

Staying away from political issues, I feel that I am a self-proclaimed nomad. Living on my own in the city that I was brought up and spent my whole life in, feeling ‘home’ in the country of my citizenship and wishing for a comeback to a country where my parents and grandparents were born. One day I hope I will be able to look back after living in each ‘homeland’ and call all 3 of them legit homes. Somehow

A nomad

Use Somebody

Indirectly inspired by Armin Van Buuren's rework of Use Somebody (Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00I8pbWXlEI), or maybe that's only the title. Insomnia's effect? Call it whatever pleases you and/or makes you sleep at night (no pun intended)

For every false dawn there must be some silver lining in the sky. Whenever things go pear shaped with someone that you thought she or he could be the one remember that fate has weird ways of working things out (Either with that person or someone else). As hard as it may sound, but try to cherish the good memories, at the end of the day that person brought some sort of happiness into your life and some sort of change, even if you don't notice or feel it. It might be easier to fuel your anger with bad memories and what you despised and loathed in that person, but you won't get far. Things happen for a reason, some things don't work out for various reasons. In a few weeks/months/years, depends on how resilient you are really, you will look back and feel numb about it or have some sort of longing (Or maybe have other feelings, we're human, not robots). If you do feel some longing (even if you are happily married/engaged/in a relationship/single/whatever), then that sensation of longing for someone does not mean that you still like or want that person, it merely means that they did indeed bring some sort of happiness in to your life. We're humans, we learn, we evolve as we grow older. Enjoy the ride that's called life and stop crying over spilled milk.

Ps. I have not broken up with anyone recently (or hooked up with anyone for that matter). This post is made out of ancient memories and feelings, combined with observations, reflections and feelings shared by close friends. Now I wouldn't mind that, but that unfathomable organ that occupies most of my skull thinks I shouldn't be arsed yet :). Excuse any spelling/grammar/etc howlers, it's 6am and over half that organ in my skull is already hibernating (Not that it's any different when I am supposed to be fully-awake, but let's keep that as a small little not-so-secret secret)

Disappear Here

Writing this while sitting outside in the backyard. Was sleepless and had a lot on my mind. Overwhelmed myself with my own thoughts which I’ve somehow managed to escalate (internally) to almost unbearable levels. Happiness is not a destination, this is something that I try to remind myself of. You choose your own level of satisfaction and you, rather than the circumstances around you choose how content you are with life in general, or specific aspects of your life.

Now that you’ve read the above few lines you must be wondering what mess I’ve gotten myself into this time, or what ordeal has taken over my life recently, and in all fairness, nothing happened. It’s my mind going through the motions, looking at things now and what I wanted to do at this stage of my life or at least hoped to be doing I’d be lying if I said that I am doing a horrible job and that I am underachieving, in fact, I’m doing an OK job thus far. I’m (still) very happy with how my career is going (Cobone FTW #justsaying), family is doing well (despite the fact that my father is still in Lebanon) and money-wise, well, it’s not really an issue at the moment, which I am really thankful for since I dread the thought of owing money to anyone (Well I owe my folks a coupla grands, but that's different.)

So, with these things all in order, what more could I want? Well, one of the things that bug me is the fact that I was hoping I’d be doing my masters abroad by now, but I haven’t really saved up enough dough to cover the cost of such a move (Especially since I have no secondary regular source of income, although photography can potentially offset some of the expenses, somehow). In all honesty the main reason why I want to do masters abroad is to, erm, get a chance to live abroad and experience a new culture while knowing I could always come back here to Dubai to my ‘comfort zone’ when I am done, if I want to.

I am due to do my GMAT exam tomorrow, I am far from ready for it, and I know for a matter of fact that I will flunk it (Any score above 400 will be miraculous), but at least it’s a step in the right direction. It’s a step that will help me decide to do some proper research on schools and degrees to see at least if I should attempt to do it again, maybe, just maybe I will find that elusive school in Europe with that perfect program that caters to my ever-changing ideal requirements that just fits with my laughable current budget. There are some other things that are on my mind, but I won’t delve into them yet, at least not now.

Ok I’m going to go a bit random on you now, so here goes: Spider has been roaming around the backyard’s garden for hours and he looks bored and hungry, adorable as f***. He’s definitely one of the things I’d miss if I ever decide to leave, he might show constant apathy and indifference to me and the whole family, but I guess this is part of the ego that fills up any pussy (cat). The weather has been odd, it hasn’t gone ridiculously hot yet, as a matter of fact, it’s kind of breezy and almost chilly now (Was 5ish early morning at the time of writing).

Someone just tweeted this: “What are you looking for? If you know 'you', that's all you really need.” (Thanks @HyperchickAisha! ). True, sometimes all you need is peace of mind, rather than someone or something (This kind of relates to the ‘happiness is not a destination bit mentioned at the start).

Speaking of twitter, the global #twestival event took place on Thursday the 24th of March, and it seems the whole of the city’s ‘Twitterati’ were there, I took some half-decent (or half-crappy, depending on which side of the fence you want to be on). You can view them here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=301213&id=505218165&l=999016418f (Don’t worry, you won’t have to add me as a so-called ‘friend’ to check them out).

If anyone cares, this was typed while listening to the following #trance & #prog tracks:
Aruna with Mark Eteson - Let Go (Nic Chagall Mix)
Hybrid - Disappear Here (Andy Moor Ecomix)[Inspired the entry's title]
Solarity - North Circ (Steve Haines Remix)
Juventa - Dionysia (Skytech Remix)
Marsbeing & Matvey Emerson - Come Again
Filip Konecny - On the Waves (Alllende Remix)

Till next time peeps. God knows when I will bother to update this blog again