Disappear Here

Writing this while sitting outside in the backyard. Was sleepless and had a lot on my mind. Overwhelmed myself with my own thoughts which I’ve somehow managed to escalate (internally) to almost unbearable levels. Happiness is not a destination, this is something that I try to remind myself of. You choose your own level of satisfaction and you, rather than the circumstances around you choose how content you are with life in general, or specific aspects of your life.

Now that you’ve read the above few lines you must be wondering what mess I’ve gotten myself into this time, or what ordeal has taken over my life recently, and in all fairness, nothing happened. It’s my mind going through the motions, looking at things now and what I wanted to do at this stage of my life or at least hoped to be doing I’d be lying if I said that I am doing a horrible job and that I am underachieving, in fact, I’m doing an OK job thus far. I’m (still) very happy with how my career is going (Cobone FTW #justsaying), family is doing well (despite the fact that my father is still in Lebanon) and money-wise, well, it’s not really an issue at the moment, which I am really thankful for since I dread the thought of owing money to anyone (Well I owe my folks a coupla grands, but that's different.)

So, with these things all in order, what more could I want? Well, one of the things that bug me is the fact that I was hoping I’d be doing my masters abroad by now, but I haven’t really saved up enough dough to cover the cost of such a move (Especially since I have no secondary regular source of income, although photography can potentially offset some of the expenses, somehow). In all honesty the main reason why I want to do masters abroad is to, erm, get a chance to live abroad and experience a new culture while knowing I could always come back here to Dubai to my ‘comfort zone’ when I am done, if I want to.

I am due to do my GMAT exam tomorrow, I am far from ready for it, and I know for a matter of fact that I will flunk it (Any score above 400 will be miraculous), but at least it’s a step in the right direction. It’s a step that will help me decide to do some proper research on schools and degrees to see at least if I should attempt to do it again, maybe, just maybe I will find that elusive school in Europe with that perfect program that caters to my ever-changing ideal requirements that just fits with my laughable current budget. There are some other things that are on my mind, but I won’t delve into them yet, at least not now.

Ok I’m going to go a bit random on you now, so here goes: Spider has been roaming around the backyard’s garden for hours and he looks bored and hungry, adorable as f***. He’s definitely one of the things I’d miss if I ever decide to leave, he might show constant apathy and indifference to me and the whole family, but I guess this is part of the ego that fills up any pussy (cat). The weather has been odd, it hasn’t gone ridiculously hot yet, as a matter of fact, it’s kind of breezy and almost chilly now (Was 5ish early morning at the time of writing).

Someone just tweeted this: “What are you looking for? If you know 'you', that's all you really need.” (Thanks @HyperchickAisha! ). True, sometimes all you need is peace of mind, rather than someone or something (This kind of relates to the ‘happiness is not a destination bit mentioned at the start).

Speaking of twitter, the global #twestival event took place on Thursday the 24th of March, and it seems the whole of the city’s ‘Twitterati’ were there, I took some half-decent (or half-crappy, depending on which side of the fence you want to be on). You can view them here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=301213&id=505218165&l=999016418f (Don’t worry, you won’t have to add me as a so-called ‘friend’ to check them out).

If anyone cares, this was typed while listening to the following #trance & #prog tracks:
Aruna with Mark Eteson - Let Go (Nic Chagall Mix)
Hybrid - Disappear Here (Andy Moor Ecomix)[Inspired the entry's title]
Solarity - North Circ (Steve Haines Remix)
Juventa - Dionysia (Skytech Remix)
Marsbeing & Matvey Emerson - Come Again
Filip Konecny - On the Waves (Alllende Remix)

Till next time peeps. God knows when I will bother to update this blog again