Not sure if this should count as a dark gloomy thought or a sign of maturing and moving forward. Never was the best in judgment really, so I will just follow my hunch as time goes by…
I was thinking about how my life has been going thus far, and thinking about my interactions with people and my so-called friendships with people (Can’t really include relationships because there haven’t really been any despite my delusion). From all those, the one thing that is common across the board in many of them is the fact that none lasted for long. A lot of normal people (Yes, I tend to consider myself as an eccentric outcast) would have someone or some people that they can confidently refer to as their ‘best friend(s) since childhood/elementary school/university/military service/first job or whatever. I used to wonder why I never had anyone that I could refer to as that, and I eventually got to the blatant conclusion that it’s due to my moodiness, and because of my ever-changing and perhaps evolving personality that I keep on moving on from certain phases of my life to the next rather quickly, without fully living or experiencing the previous periods. Another thing is that I might tire from people when things get rather customary and predictable. I don’t know really, familiarity breeds contempt perhaps? Maybe I am the one who naturally drives people away with time.
OK, let me get to the point, the above has made me reach a conclusion that it is not very likely that I will get to have lifelong ‘best friends’ or even get married. Not that the world is missing out on anything really, just another lunatic whom decided to spare you for his endless crap & nonsense
Long live reclusiveness
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6 comments:
i don't know you, so this looks weird i know. but i sorta fatefully fell upon your blog .. and i just want to say a few things.
first. you remind me so much of my bestfriend, in writing and character and just the vibe i get off of you.
(thts a good thing btw - my bestfriend happens to be a great person lol)
second. your blog seems to be getting more bitter by the entry .. and i just think that you need to realize or hear from someone that you sound like an awesome person and you should never belittle yourself. this entry jst sorta hit a nerve, i always thought i pushed pple away as well. and maybe i do - i never did figure it out lol .. but that in noway means youre less of a good person for it. or at least i like to think so :P
and finally - i love weird. weird is good. so plz plz dont stop being weird. we have enough normal pple in the world. haha
Hi there anonymous.
Interesting that you 'fell upon this blog' so randomly like that, but thanks nevertheless for popping up and dropping a few lines =)
Well, if your best friend is anything like me, then beware =), s/he might not have that title for long due to our 'similar characteristics, character and vibe', but then again not everyone is as random and odd as I am, so chances are she or he will keep that title for a while. Peace of advice- Enjoy it while it lasts, s/he can be an amazing person with loads of unfound potential (Good luck digging that up and bringing it outta them)
Well, what's wrong with bitterness? It's not exactly a positive thing really, but on the other hand I'm a realist, not a thoughtless optimist (Not saying you are, just to be politically correct and to make sure the above statement is not interpreted incorrectly by someone out there sprawling the internet. Last thing I could do with now is to be sued by some lunatic =) )
Well I may be an awesome person to you, each and every soul out there will have an opinion on other people, if you think I am, then so be it... Each to his or her own (In this case, her own, got a strong hunch that you're not a male)...
At some point you come to realize that you cannot please every tom, dick and harry, you end up pleasing nobody. Chasing shadows is not fun =).
Eh I'm eccentric by nature, don't worry that's one thing I will never be able to change in my personality (Oh well, nobody is perfect)
lol .. no, im not a "he"- so good hunch.
and my bestfriend has been my bestfriend for approximately 10years now. i'd say that's a pretty long time. sure, we have our differences and we go through a lot of conflicts, but it's really all about how you perceive them and build on them.
i learn not to judge, and to accept the person as s/he is, at the same time, i expect the same from those around me.
and no .. i am by no means an optimist. never been called one anyway. they call me practical, realistic, they always tell me im the one bursting their bubble haha - not sure that's a good thing - but you know...
and no one should aim for perfect in the first place. and who said normal is not weird? who gives these labels anyway? and why do we live by them?
right, of course .. society .. the downfall of us all lol
keep writing. youre good :)
So. I didn't fatefully fall upon the blog this time, I actually went looking for it. Very very strange.
"Anonymous" was me - 2+ years ago.
p.s. perfection sucks.
Wow, such dedication.
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