It pains me...

... to see that things have gone down this route... Whatever hope I had was slashed to meaningless fake optimism, back to the naive state of mind that I can't seem to get rid of, or at least manage to balance against the realities of this world...

I know that this doesn't make much sense, and that I would probably read this again in a year or two and wonder what the heck I was high on when I wrote it, I know that I sometimes over analyze situations and such, but alas...

I hope this dead end gets sorted out somehow, not for my own benefit, just so that life goes on with minimum disruption for you lot (And somehow, ultimately my conscience) ...

I wish I could grow a thicker skin and be more selfish (Assuming there is any way I could be more selfish and self-centered than I already am)

I despise the fact that I might have just lost another friend because of reasons beyond my control and comprehension... I hope you don't change though... Would be a shame...

Good luck... It's scarce...