One of my best friends sent this quote to me, so true
أحيانا تشتاق لمن لا يشتاقون .. وتعطي لمن لا يحسون .. وتبقى عظيما ويصغرون .. فالحياة أمران .. أما ان تكون انت أو تكون كما يكونون
Showing posts with label Random-ness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random-ness. Show all posts
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
More randomness
So for the 2nd week in a row I spend Thursday night (and pretty much the whole of Friday morning) in bed with a heavy head and a physically, mentally and emotionally drained body. My recent (slight) change in lifestyle should have changed things and made me a bit more laid back and mellow, but based on this, it seems it has done the complete opposite. Maybe I’m just making a big fuss out of nothing and this is normal. At least it is not affecting anything, and it is just proving the fact that I’d rather spend more time at home rather than head out and ‘socialize’ (How ‘social’ can one get in such a relatively small town?).
Every day of my life now I realize how valuable the commodity of time is and how crucial it is to manage and control it well, which is not an exactly straight forward task for someone who grew up being forced to do things and be put on the right track (The right track being set by others, of course. Oh the beauty of being a push over). At least then I had my ambition restricted by what those around me dictated, namely because I simply had little or no signs of it (ambition) and because I spent a large portion of my teenage/early adult life being told what to do in a field/industry I had mild passion for. The move to doing something I actually enjoy and having time and resources to actually do and initiate projects I fancy at work and in my personal life has been a bit tricky, but heck, it’s always fun to learn and to cope. If the previous chapters have taught me anything, it’s probably that the more one struggles with something, the more they learn on the long run.
Some of the personal (fun) projects I’ve initiated:
- Starting to play more video games
- Bashing my personal laptop unintentionally
- Avoiding the world, somehow
- Starting a freelance photography business. Google/FB/Tweet “Omography”, a less serious initiative is “Om The Road”, which can only be found on FB now.
Every day of my life now I realize how valuable the commodity of time is and how crucial it is to manage and control it well, which is not an exactly straight forward task for someone who grew up being forced to do things and be put on the right track (The right track being set by others, of course. Oh the beauty of being a push over). At least then I had my ambition restricted by what those around me dictated, namely because I simply had little or no signs of it (ambition) and because I spent a large portion of my teenage/early adult life being told what to do in a field/industry I had mild passion for. The move to doing something I actually enjoy and having time and resources to actually do and initiate projects I fancy at work and in my personal life has been a bit tricky, but heck, it’s always fun to learn and to cope. If the previous chapters have taught me anything, it’s probably that the more one struggles with something, the more they learn on the long run.
Some of the personal (fun) projects I’ve initiated:
- Starting to play more video games
- Bashing my personal laptop unintentionally
- Avoiding the world, somehow
- Starting a freelance photography business. Google/FB/Tweet “Omography”, a less serious initiative is “Om The Road”, which can only be found on FB now.
Sunday, August 01, 2010
Random flight thoughts
Written on the 28th of July, 2010, haven't proof-read it or edited anything in it as of yet, so expect some grammar and spelling blunders:
On a relatively small Royal Jordanian plane midway through my flight from Dubai to Amman. Just watched Date Night again and had a good laugh. Having some thoughts now since I'm sitting idle (a very, very uncommon situation I should say).
What is it that I really want? I'm still indecisive, always opting to just go with the flow of things, waiting for the best and working hard. Now life over the past few months has been rather generous with me. God had answered my prayers by opening a new career path for me. Now the past couple of years have been grueling to say the least, but every now and then I'd try to remind myself that I was still better off than many people and that God probably had other better things in store for me. I admit that it was a struggle, a huge learning curve which has changed me as a person and made me somewhat indistinguishable from that young bright fresh-graduate a coupla years back who was full of life, albeit low on confidence an experience.
I hope my parents are proud of me, I'm probably still considered in the spoiled brat category to most people, but that has no bearing to who I really am. I might have a snappy attitude, I might be moody as f**k, I might have failed to stay in touch with people I value and love in my life, but I'm still that somewhat self-doubting & reclusive introvert. I still try to help out whenever I could and as much as I can, but I have created limits, limits so i don't drain myself and my resources when there are bigger priorities.
My perspectives have changed, I just want to rediscover that free spirit I had, but that will be rather tricky, but as I say, it is doable. The recent events will probably help me become a better person. I hope my folks are proud of me, I wonder what they and my amazing sisters describe me as to their acquaintances and the people around them... I'm sure that it would be a combination of praise and humorous flack.
I am disappointed and infuriated with the service levels on display here in Dubai. It goes from delivery boys not even being sure if they can deliver the goods or not to car technicians who blatantly pretend everything in your car is perfect while it is under warranty, while confidently asking you to pay once that warranty is over to pay for anything and everything that may require repairing or replacing.
Social media: now I am glad I became addicted to twitter over the course of the past few months. A lot of people do not see the point in it, but in all fairness I have the same thoughts nowadays when it comes to Facebook. That's just a personal opinion. For those of you who would like to follow me on twitter, you may definitely do so here: www.twitter.com/omardxb
Sorry for the incoherent blabbering, been up for quite some time and my brain is pretty much hibernating now.
Hav a good one
On a relatively small Royal Jordanian plane midway through my flight from Dubai to Amman. Just watched Date Night again and had a good laugh. Having some thoughts now since I'm sitting idle (a very, very uncommon situation I should say).
What is it that I really want? I'm still indecisive, always opting to just go with the flow of things, waiting for the best and working hard. Now life over the past few months has been rather generous with me. God had answered my prayers by opening a new career path for me. Now the past couple of years have been grueling to say the least, but every now and then I'd try to remind myself that I was still better off than many people and that God probably had other better things in store for me. I admit that it was a struggle, a huge learning curve which has changed me as a person and made me somewhat indistinguishable from that young bright fresh-graduate a coupla years back who was full of life, albeit low on confidence an experience.
I hope my parents are proud of me, I'm probably still considered in the spoiled brat category to most people, but that has no bearing to who I really am. I might have a snappy attitude, I might be moody as f**k, I might have failed to stay in touch with people I value and love in my life, but I'm still that somewhat self-doubting & reclusive introvert. I still try to help out whenever I could and as much as I can, but I have created limits, limits so i don't drain myself and my resources when there are bigger priorities.
My perspectives have changed, I just want to rediscover that free spirit I had, but that will be rather tricky, but as I say, it is doable. The recent events will probably help me become a better person. I hope my folks are proud of me, I wonder what they and my amazing sisters describe me as to their acquaintances and the people around them... I'm sure that it would be a combination of praise and humorous flack.
I am disappointed and infuriated with the service levels on display here in Dubai. It goes from delivery boys not even being sure if they can deliver the goods or not to car technicians who blatantly pretend everything in your car is perfect while it is under warranty, while confidently asking you to pay once that warranty is over to pay for anything and everything that may require repairing or replacing.
Social media: now I am glad I became addicted to twitter over the course of the past few months. A lot of people do not see the point in it, but in all fairness I have the same thoughts nowadays when it comes to Facebook. That's just a personal opinion. For those of you who would like to follow me on twitter, you may definitely do so here: www.twitter.com/omardxb
Sorry for the incoherent blabbering, been up for quite some time and my brain is pretty much hibernating now.
Hav a good one
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Not that either you or I care or give a flying f*k anymore, but...
... I'd like to wish you a happy birthday, idiot :)
Sunday, May 23, 2010
100th post
Happy 100th post to me and to the irregular visitors and stalkers of this blog and yours truly
It’s been a while since I made time for this little blog of drivel and self-inflicted angst. I usually need a motive and/or an inspiration, or sometimes some sort of provocation to entice me to babble. Credit for this post goes to a young (Well, she’s older than me) fellow blogger… Missed the blogging sphere in all honesty
So, what’s new? Quite a lot!
Thankfully started a new job, and pretty much enjoying my new field. It’s certainly a major step in the right direction. I am doing e-commerce and e-distribution for the chain of hotels that I started my post-university career with. It keeps me occupied, gives me an opportunity to actually use my brain's overtly analytical cells (As opposed to the brain numbing repetitive routine that I had sometimes in my previous post). Hamdella for everything
Other than that, went sky diving, and to my surprise, it IS such a big deal. It didn’t occur to me until I saw the reaction of people when they found out… Didn’t find it that scary or nerve-wrecking as some people make it out to be, namely because the guys behind the sky diving operations here are so good at what they do. I mean come on, what are the chances of something going wrong, and me being the poor sod who ends up getting injured, or worse, dying? Very marginal at worst. Heck, there is a higher probability that one would die on Dubai’s roads sitting in the back of a cab than while sky diving or flying somewhere for that matter.
Since I’ve touched on the topic of public transporation, God bless the Dubai Metro. Had my first proper ride on it (Gold class, because I’m posh, wannabe posh that is and I have taste for the finer things in life). The ride is extremely smooth and quiet, the staff are professional and efficient and the trains are extremely clean and almost always on time (But taking one’s car is not as time consuming, which may among a few negative). For green, hassle free and affordable commuting, I would hail the metro as a total success! Sadly (Or maybe fortunately, depending on how you see things) I don’t need to get on the metro that often. Why did I even use it? Well, the place I did the TOEFL (A point that I would get to in a bit) was literally on the other side of town in an area that I don’t recall ever going to as an adult or a kid for that matter. A massive taxi fare would not have been very justifiable in such dire economic conditions (As if I’m starving myself to death to stave off creditors).
So, TOEFL you say? What for? Part of the big plan to do masters somewhere, somehow at some point. Speaking of which, I find it ironic that a certain university here still requires TOEFL for its post-graduate courses, even if you provide adequate proof that you did your bachelors degree in English elsewhere. That is in stark contrast to some schools in the States, which in theory should be much pickier about this, but they are actually more than satisfied to waive off the TOEFL if you provide documentation proving you studied in English. Oh well, the imperfections of this world are staggering.
What else? Went back to working out, it is notable that I have never been so out of shape appearance-wise in my life as I am at the moment, yet I am quite fit exercise-wise and got a decent endurance level which I never had during my ‘skinny’ days. Paradoxes of life? Or maybe I needed the additional fat to store energy and God knows what else, and hence the improved stamina and endurance levels? *sarcasm*
Other than that, I’ve become more picky and careful with my time, learning time management skills the hard way, the ‘compromise’ way. I still make time (Barely) for photography and trance, which are still my legal drugs, but I kind of toned down on certain activities that consume time and/or are tedious in nature.
Such a self-centered post, but heck, after having to deal with some narcissistic boring individuals often, I reckon I can cut myself some slack and blabber a bit about lowly me :).
On a more outwardly note, well, more bad acts of nature happening around the world, be it the endless volcano ash-gate, or the PMS-ing weather (It’s been quite weird for this time of the year in this region, thunderstorms in Bahrain, rain in UAE, flash floods in Riyadh to name a few) If that wasn’t enough, then you have the man-made hot topics, such as the Greek economic meltdown, the mini-civil war in Bangkok, the continuing agony in my homeland (Palestine), the stupid elections in the UK, the football World Cup (And the endless scandals unfolding in England’s 2018 World Cup bid), all strive for journals' attention to ensure they have some headlines, columns and 'in-depth analysis' to sell more papers the next day…
Small piece of advice for the masses- Put yourselves first whenever possible, and when you don’t, make sure it is justifiable in some way or another.
Thanks B =)
It’s been a while since I made time for this little blog of drivel and self-inflicted angst. I usually need a motive and/or an inspiration, or sometimes some sort of provocation to entice me to babble. Credit for this post goes to a young (Well, she’s older than me) fellow blogger… Missed the blogging sphere in all honesty
So, what’s new? Quite a lot!
Thankfully started a new job, and pretty much enjoying my new field. It’s certainly a major step in the right direction. I am doing e-commerce and e-distribution for the chain of hotels that I started my post-university career with. It keeps me occupied, gives me an opportunity to actually use my brain's overtly analytical cells (As opposed to the brain numbing repetitive routine that I had sometimes in my previous post). Hamdella for everything
Other than that, went sky diving, and to my surprise, it IS such a big deal. It didn’t occur to me until I saw the reaction of people when they found out… Didn’t find it that scary or nerve-wrecking as some people make it out to be, namely because the guys behind the sky diving operations here are so good at what they do. I mean come on, what are the chances of something going wrong, and me being the poor sod who ends up getting injured, or worse, dying? Very marginal at worst. Heck, there is a higher probability that one would die on Dubai’s roads sitting in the back of a cab than while sky diving or flying somewhere for that matter.
Since I’ve touched on the topic of public transporation, God bless the Dubai Metro. Had my first proper ride on it (Gold class, because I’m posh, wannabe posh that is and I have taste for the finer things in life). The ride is extremely smooth and quiet, the staff are professional and efficient and the trains are extremely clean and almost always on time (But taking one’s car is not as time consuming, which may among a few negative). For green, hassle free and affordable commuting, I would hail the metro as a total success! Sadly (Or maybe fortunately, depending on how you see things) I don’t need to get on the metro that often. Why did I even use it? Well, the place I did the TOEFL (A point that I would get to in a bit) was literally on the other side of town in an area that I don’t recall ever going to as an adult or a kid for that matter. A massive taxi fare would not have been very justifiable in such dire economic conditions (As if I’m starving myself to death to stave off creditors).
So, TOEFL you say? What for? Part of the big plan to do masters somewhere, somehow at some point. Speaking of which, I find it ironic that a certain university here still requires TOEFL for its post-graduate courses, even if you provide adequate proof that you did your bachelors degree in English elsewhere. That is in stark contrast to some schools in the States, which in theory should be much pickier about this, but they are actually more than satisfied to waive off the TOEFL if you provide documentation proving you studied in English. Oh well, the imperfections of this world are staggering.
What else? Went back to working out, it is notable that I have never been so out of shape appearance-wise in my life as I am at the moment, yet I am quite fit exercise-wise and got a decent endurance level which I never had during my ‘skinny’ days. Paradoxes of life? Or maybe I needed the additional fat to store energy and God knows what else, and hence the improved stamina and endurance levels? *sarcasm*
Other than that, I’ve become more picky and careful with my time, learning time management skills the hard way, the ‘compromise’ way. I still make time (Barely) for photography and trance, which are still my legal drugs, but I kind of toned down on certain activities that consume time and/or are tedious in nature.
Such a self-centered post, but heck, after having to deal with some narcissistic boring individuals often, I reckon I can cut myself some slack and blabber a bit about lowly me :).
On a more outwardly note, well, more bad acts of nature happening around the world, be it the endless volcano ash-gate, or the PMS-ing weather (It’s been quite weird for this time of the year in this region, thunderstorms in Bahrain, rain in UAE, flash floods in Riyadh to name a few) If that wasn’t enough, then you have the man-made hot topics, such as the Greek economic meltdown, the mini-civil war in Bangkok, the continuing agony in my homeland (Palestine), the stupid elections in the UK, the football World Cup (And the endless scandals unfolding in England’s 2018 World Cup bid), all strive for journals' attention to ensure they have some headlines, columns and 'in-depth analysis' to sell more papers the next day…
Small piece of advice for the masses- Put yourselves first whenever possible, and when you don’t, make sure it is justifiable in some way or another.
Thanks B =)
Monday, March 22, 2010
Right now
I’m knackered and half asleep as I lie on my bed with one eyelid open that is struggling to focus on the screen (I’m long-sighted, you know, or whatever the proper medical term for that is). For some reason I’m compelling myself to half-arsedly type this up
So, it seems that everything in my life is nicely falling into place, all but one thing. It’s fascinating how God tests our patience and our willingness to move forward in life. I’m rapidly jumping to a conclusion that I fathomed and digested a couple of years ago before I indifferently decided to chuck it outside the window and just start having a new outlook based on a nonexistent recipe.
That simple (defunct) recipe/perspective used 2 years ago stipulated the basics: Easy come easy go, and whatever you don’t strive and work hard for just loses its allure, value and meaning.
Maybe there is no test here. Maybe it is just a part of my life that I should learn to live with rather than try and alter. Maybe I’m destined to be a ‘giver’ in this life rather than a taker (Well, to a certain extent). Maybe it’s better to be misunderstood than to be exploited and vulnerable once found out. Open books are not as fascinating as dark, twisted and deceitful novels that twitch every existing cell in that brain of yours.
M&M- Thanks =)
So, it seems that everything in my life is nicely falling into place, all but one thing. It’s fascinating how God tests our patience and our willingness to move forward in life. I’m rapidly jumping to a conclusion that I fathomed and digested a couple of years ago before I indifferently decided to chuck it outside the window and just start having a new outlook based on a nonexistent recipe.
That simple (defunct) recipe/perspective used 2 years ago stipulated the basics: Easy come easy go, and whatever you don’t strive and work hard for just loses its allure, value and meaning.
Maybe there is no test here. Maybe it is just a part of my life that I should learn to live with rather than try and alter. Maybe I’m destined to be a ‘giver’ in this life rather than a taker (Well, to a certain extent). Maybe it’s better to be misunderstood than to be exploited and vulnerable once found out. Open books are not as fascinating as dark, twisted and deceitful novels that twitch every existing cell in that brain of yours.
M&M- Thanks =)
Monday, February 01, 2010
En route...
Typed up a few days ago (26th Jan to be specific)
This must be some achievement, blogging twice in the same month. I can’t really recall the last time that happened. Oh well, not something to dwell on
So moving on to more important things! Sitting in the passenger seat for a change while my sister is driving, usually I’d be the one driving, but I don’t mind the (slight) change of perspective and in scenery. Was a bit blank when I started typing, so I asked her ‘What should I blog about?’, got the predictable ‘I don’t know’ from her. In return I asked her about topics we might have discussed that ticked me off, so she joked and mentioned the renaming and rebranding of Burj Dubai into Burj Khalifa or Pluto not being an official planet anymore, and just being a wannabe-planet that is actually a big lump of rock floating peacefully in space. Just for the record, these are things that my elder sister off was baffled about, but she has thankfully come to terms with it. I have no qualms with either thing, yet (Well it’s not like I will have something against either life altering issue here)…
Anyhow, I might be slowly realizing how it is not worth it to fret about certain things, and more importantly people (Sad, eh?). I should understand slowly that certain people are not worth the hassle, but it is Important not to make matters escalate to reach a dead-end where no one of the parties involved reach the point of no return (In simple words, keep it in a way that things can be ‘worked on’ so to speak)… That does not work with everyone of course, but maybe that’s to the better.
More randomness to follow some other day/night, since we reached our destinations *Switches social butterfly mode on*
This must be some achievement, blogging twice in the same month. I can’t really recall the last time that happened. Oh well, not something to dwell on
So moving on to more important things! Sitting in the passenger seat for a change while my sister is driving, usually I’d be the one driving, but I don’t mind the (slight) change of perspective and in scenery. Was a bit blank when I started typing, so I asked her ‘What should I blog about?’, got the predictable ‘I don’t know’ from her. In return I asked her about topics we might have discussed that ticked me off, so she joked and mentioned the renaming and rebranding of Burj Dubai into Burj Khalifa or Pluto not being an official planet anymore, and just being a wannabe-planet that is actually a big lump of rock floating peacefully in space. Just for the record, these are things that my elder sister off was baffled about, but she has thankfully come to terms with it. I have no qualms with either thing, yet (Well it’s not like I will have something against either life altering issue here)…
Anyhow, I might be slowly realizing how it is not worth it to fret about certain things, and more importantly people (Sad, eh?). I should understand slowly that certain people are not worth the hassle, but it is Important not to make matters escalate to reach a dead-end where no one of the parties involved reach the point of no return (In simple words, keep it in a way that things can be ‘worked on’ so to speak)… That does not work with everyone of course, but maybe that’s to the better.
More randomness to follow some other day/night, since we reached our destinations *Switches social butterfly mode on*
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Blah blah blah
Alright, new year (And decade). Was a decent start in all fairness… Spending the first day of the year in the Lebanese mountains with some of the coolest and funniest people around and recalling the previous night’s eccentricities and the random moments… Too bad it was a brief trip, but it was well worth it. Spent some excellent quality time with my father, experienced some unique weather conditions (Well, not exactly unique since I experienced it twice or thrice before in Lebo and Jordan, but you know, you savor the most recent experiences sometimes and put them ahead in nostalgic and ‘intriguing’ value than relatively older experiences and events)… Also got to see some old friends before ’09 drifted away into semi-oblivion, and also saw a certain individual that is known to a few million people as Armin Van Buuren, whom if you have not heard of yet is one of the godfathers of Trance and one of the biggest names in the scene.
Armin Van Buuren, number 1 dj in the world, globally famous, has the most popular and successful radio show blab la bla (All should change in a year or two hopefully, as Above & Beyond slowly, yet surely take over the reigns ;)). Why out of all places on the planet he chose to play in Beirut on the 30th of December, 2009 and then Dubai the following night on new year’s eve?! Beats me… (Well, Dubai probably threw a lot of money at it, but still…)… Oh well, sod it… The event was a success (The one in Beirut, of course), in comparison to the Dubai one (At least from the limited feedback I heard thus far about the latter)…
What else… I always have the urge to babble, rant, bitch and bicker about things when I cannot do it, let’s say when I’m in the shower before work (And running late), or when I am heading back to the office from lunch break, or when I am out and about with no means or ways of jotting my ramblings on a piece of paper (Or hotel paper for that matter, as that teenage crush of mine Michelle Branch used to ‘rhyme’)… I thought about updating it from my BlackBerry, but it does not feel the same to type up something on a tiny screen like that… Speaking of the BlackBerry and ranting, Twitter is perfect for that. It’s quick and concise, and chances are you would find a funny/good (Very recent) update from a friend or via some news agency/dj/football team/whatever… If FB nonchalantly encouraged stalking, then Twitter in a way is the next step of stalking (But I doubt anyone would really give a flying f*k about how many hours of work are left for me or how many times I mention the likes of Armin and Schulz per day…
One thing I wish I could fix- The inconsistent moods, the ups and downs… I don’t want a lovely shrink-suggested medication or anything; I just wish that consistency could prevail instead of disharmony… Maybe there is a way of eradicating certain aspects of one’s personality, or at least play down their significance in one’s daily life… But then again, when you think of it, it takes up a lot of energy and may lead to more stress, and heck, every flaw can be ‘repositioned’ to be a trait… God bless marketers and the subconscious psychological warfares
Wow, maybe I really should stfu… I will not even proof-read it for another week or two perhaps, so please bear with me and make excusation for the makation of mistakes in the grammar, sbellinj and or not making any sense whatsoever overall
A late edit to this:
For the tranceheads out there:
Simon Patterson "Miss You"
Sunny Lax "Misgrey"
Lange pres. Fireweall "Wanderlust"
Stoneface & Terminal "Don't Give A F*ck"
X
O
Armin Van Buuren, number 1 dj in the world, globally famous, has the most popular and successful radio show blab la bla (All should change in a year or two hopefully, as Above & Beyond slowly, yet surely take over the reigns ;)). Why out of all places on the planet he chose to play in Beirut on the 30th of December, 2009 and then Dubai the following night on new year’s eve?! Beats me… (Well, Dubai probably threw a lot of money at it, but still…)… Oh well, sod it… The event was a success (The one in Beirut, of course), in comparison to the Dubai one (At least from the limited feedback I heard thus far about the latter)…
What else… I always have the urge to babble, rant, bitch and bicker about things when I cannot do it, let’s say when I’m in the shower before work (And running late), or when I am heading back to the office from lunch break, or when I am out and about with no means or ways of jotting my ramblings on a piece of paper (Or hotel paper for that matter, as that teenage crush of mine Michelle Branch used to ‘rhyme’)… I thought about updating it from my BlackBerry, but it does not feel the same to type up something on a tiny screen like that… Speaking of the BlackBerry and ranting, Twitter is perfect for that. It’s quick and concise, and chances are you would find a funny/good (Very recent) update from a friend or via some news agency/dj/football team/whatever… If FB nonchalantly encouraged stalking, then Twitter in a way is the next step of stalking (But I doubt anyone would really give a flying f*k about how many hours of work are left for me or how many times I mention the likes of Armin and Schulz per day…
One thing I wish I could fix- The inconsistent moods, the ups and downs… I don’t want a lovely shrink-suggested medication or anything; I just wish that consistency could prevail instead of disharmony… Maybe there is a way of eradicating certain aspects of one’s personality, or at least play down their significance in one’s daily life… But then again, when you think of it, it takes up a lot of energy and may lead to more stress, and heck, every flaw can be ‘repositioned’ to be a trait… God bless marketers and the subconscious psychological warfares
Wow, maybe I really should stfu… I will not even proof-read it for another week or two perhaps, so please bear with me and make excusation for the makation of mistakes in the grammar, sbellinj and or not making any sense whatsoever overall
A late edit to this:
For the tranceheads out there:
Simon Patterson "Miss You"
Sunny Lax "Misgrey"
Lange pres. Fireweall "Wanderlust"
Stoneface & Terminal "Don't Give A F*ck"
X
O
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Year-end update
So, as 2009 draws to a close, I think it is about time I made some of that (Time that is) for this humble little public semi-diary of mine.
So, few more days to go before a new decade commences, one that promises nothing but more political unrest, a fateful and devastating depression, more hunger and probably more natural disasters (And if the Mayans or whatever they are called got their calculations right, mankind has less than 3 years to go before we cease to exist).
What has this year brought upon me as a not so modest, yet somewhat timid ‘young’ man? (Depending on your take on ages, but that’s a whole different and very subjective argument that I’d rather not go into)
- More progressive trance (The genre has mellowed down over the years and has become far more proggy than how it used to be 2 or 3 years ago. Not that I mind though. Armin & Above & Beyond amongst other trance djs are doing a remarkable and very impressive job in changing the perception of the once taboo ‘T word’… Very good year for Armin and the Anjunaboys, and a very impressive one for the likes of Markus Schulz, Cosmic Gate, DJ Shah, Gareth Emery, Ronski Speed, John O’Callaghan, Super8 & DJ Tab amongst others whom have been working tirelessly in their studios and on the road. Well done gentlemen
- Still single, which may not be an entirely bad thing looking at the rough patches some (Read- Most) of my supposedly ‘more fortunate’ acquaintances and/or friends have had with their supposedly loved ones. Again, I think I’m better off alone. Too complicated, random and incessantly annoying to be with someone. If things are not meant to be, then so freakin’ be it. Won’t bust a gut over people who are not really worthy of my attention, care or time just for the sake of it (And that is saying something, since I do a LOT of things just for the sake of it)
- Football- Last season was not bad, this one is simply one to forget… I know it’s not over yet, not ‘til the fat lady sings at least, but we’re out of Europe and with a hapless and ridiculously inconsistent league record (Beating Everton and then losing to a team like Pompey that was rooted to the bottom of the table and without any sort of liquidity or freakin’ cash flow)… Oh well, at least Man U are not faring much better domestically (But I still hold that belief that they are the ones that will lift the title come May to surpass our record of league titles *sobs*)
- What else? Hmm… Been getting closer to my elder sister over the past year, and I mean really close… I admit, we never really got along before, but I don’t know why, over the past year or so (Basically after I entered the workforce and left the comfort zone of university) we have gotten closer and we talk far more often nowadays than we used to… Guess I might have matured a tad. Not complaining, loivin’ it actually! She has been extremely supportive and helpful… Bless you Susuuu =)
I am sure there are other things to babble about that happened in ’09, but for the time being, this is what my half-awake brain can conjure up at this late hour (Or half-asleep brain, again depends on your outlook and perspective on life. It’s not like it has ever been optimized in its operation over the past few months of somewhat mind-numbing tedious work, but as we say, hamdella for everything, and as usual, patience is the key)
So, few more days to go before a new decade commences, one that promises nothing but more political unrest, a fateful and devastating depression, more hunger and probably more natural disasters (And if the Mayans or whatever they are called got their calculations right, mankind has less than 3 years to go before we cease to exist).
What has this year brought upon me as a not so modest, yet somewhat timid ‘young’ man? (Depending on your take on ages, but that’s a whole different and very subjective argument that I’d rather not go into)
- More progressive trance (The genre has mellowed down over the years and has become far more proggy than how it used to be 2 or 3 years ago. Not that I mind though. Armin & Above & Beyond amongst other trance djs are doing a remarkable and very impressive job in changing the perception of the once taboo ‘T word’… Very good year for Armin and the Anjunaboys, and a very impressive one for the likes of Markus Schulz, Cosmic Gate, DJ Shah, Gareth Emery, Ronski Speed, John O’Callaghan, Super8 & DJ Tab amongst others whom have been working tirelessly in their studios and on the road. Well done gentlemen
- Still single, which may not be an entirely bad thing looking at the rough patches some (Read- Most) of my supposedly ‘more fortunate’ acquaintances and/or friends have had with their supposedly loved ones. Again, I think I’m better off alone. Too complicated, random and incessantly annoying to be with someone. If things are not meant to be, then so freakin’ be it. Won’t bust a gut over people who are not really worthy of my attention, care or time just for the sake of it (And that is saying something, since I do a LOT of things just for the sake of it)
- Football- Last season was not bad, this one is simply one to forget… I know it’s not over yet, not ‘til the fat lady sings at least, but we’re out of Europe and with a hapless and ridiculously inconsistent league record (Beating Everton and then losing to a team like Pompey that was rooted to the bottom of the table and without any sort of liquidity or freakin’ cash flow)… Oh well, at least Man U are not faring much better domestically (But I still hold that belief that they are the ones that will lift the title come May to surpass our record of league titles *sobs*)
- What else? Hmm… Been getting closer to my elder sister over the past year, and I mean really close… I admit, we never really got along before, but I don’t know why, over the past year or so (Basically after I entered the workforce and left the comfort zone of university) we have gotten closer and we talk far more often nowadays than we used to… Guess I might have matured a tad. Not complaining, loivin’ it actually! She has been extremely supportive and helpful… Bless you Susuuu =)
I am sure there are other things to babble about that happened in ’09, but for the time being, this is what my half-awake brain can conjure up at this late hour (Or half-asleep brain, again depends on your outlook and perspective on life. It’s not like it has ever been optimized in its operation over the past few months of somewhat mind-numbing tedious work, but as we say, hamdella for everything, and as usual, patience is the key)
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Back to the effin' drawing board
I think I should get into the drawing board business; I keep on going back to that more often than not
Rather lame attempt at cracking a joke I reckon, not the funniest soul out there.
I seriously need to change, and it has to come from within… You blew it, but I don’t blame you really... Or maybe it’s the uncertainty that’s frightening you.
Oh well...
Rather lame attempt at cracking a joke I reckon, not the funniest soul out there.
I seriously need to change, and it has to come from within… You blew it, but I don’t blame you really... Or maybe it’s the uncertainty that’s frightening you.
Oh well...
Monday, June 08, 2009
Familiarity…
Familiarity…
Inspired by a ‘sista’ from another mother, SA…
Familiarity breeds contempt… I don’t know what brought that expression to mind, but it’s been lingering in my head for the past few days, it basically opens up my naïve, oblivious and undiscerning eyes to a small, yet crucial aspect of human interactions…
I shall vow to keep my distance and not get close to anyone, regardless of the gender or nature of the relationship (Working/professional, mere acquaintance or even a potential partner). That is unless it is willingly sought after by both parties (Obviously does not have to be written in stone, it may be on a subconscious level)
When you veer away from getting too engaged and involved with something and/or someone, you somehow ensure some peace of mind, it allows you to retain some ability to observe see, analyze and judge things as an outsider, because you are not fully-engrossed with whichever thing it may be, it removes the personal bias and similarly it preserves some neutrality to a certain extent… I hold no regrets, I might come across as a remorseful person sometimes, but at the end of the day, everything happens for a reason and it is all God’s will, as we Muslims say "قدر الله و ما شاء فعل"...... We learn from life, perhaps it’s good to mess up every once in a while, it’s a learning curve of life, part and parcel of ‘growing up’…
One further snippet of random thoughts- It is ironic that beneath fancy façade of each and every one of us hides a character that is far, far from perfect… Sadly some hide their respective blemishes rather well and draw everyone around them to their nonexistent traits… Would rather refer to as the Souness Nobody’s vs. Everybody’s Fool Syndrome…
What a pity… Many people definitely know how to talk the talk, too bad you’re massively lacking on the walk the walk department (Worse enough, arguing about being more than capable walking the walk when sparing us your and hollow words and lies certainly does you more good than harm)… There’s a smart tactic called ‘damage limitation’, it does not only exist in wars and battles, extends to way beyond that…
Couple or so people very, very worthy of a salutation:
S- I don’t care if I don’t interact with you for ‘eons’ so to speak, I/we don’t need to… It’s the type of unique thing where you don’t have to go through the typical formalities of staying in touch and all that crap that is so cliché … X
D- Well, you’re adorable in every single ‘snacking’ way =)
M- I wish ‘they’ could see you the way I see you...
G- I wish you would get off that edge and come back to your senses sooner rather than later… Hope it’s not too late, because you’re losing your real friends to gain some plastic friends… Trust me fella, it will be a very painful fall from grace when you fall down from that throne that you happen to be sitting on so high up there in the clouds…
L- Miss you!
I- Such a shame… Expected way more, too bad the fake façade is overwhelmingly convincing in your case
Inspired by a ‘sista’ from another mother, SA…
Familiarity breeds contempt… I don’t know what brought that expression to mind, but it’s been lingering in my head for the past few days, it basically opens up my naïve, oblivious and undiscerning eyes to a small, yet crucial aspect of human interactions…
I shall vow to keep my distance and not get close to anyone, regardless of the gender or nature of the relationship (Working/professional, mere acquaintance or even a potential partner). That is unless it is willingly sought after by both parties (Obviously does not have to be written in stone, it may be on a subconscious level)
When you veer away from getting too engaged and involved with something and/or someone, you somehow ensure some peace of mind, it allows you to retain some ability to observe see, analyze and judge things as an outsider, because you are not fully-engrossed with whichever thing it may be, it removes the personal bias and similarly it preserves some neutrality to a certain extent… I hold no regrets, I might come across as a remorseful person sometimes, but at the end of the day, everything happens for a reason and it is all God’s will, as we Muslims say "قدر الله و ما شاء فعل"...... We learn from life, perhaps it’s good to mess up every once in a while, it’s a learning curve of life, part and parcel of ‘growing up’…
One further snippet of random thoughts- It is ironic that beneath fancy façade of each and every one of us hides a character that is far, far from perfect… Sadly some hide their respective blemishes rather well and draw everyone around them to their nonexistent traits… Would rather refer to as the Souness Nobody’s vs. Everybody’s Fool Syndrome…
What a pity… Many people definitely know how to talk the talk, too bad you’re massively lacking on the walk the walk department (Worse enough, arguing about being more than capable walking the walk when sparing us your and hollow words and lies certainly does you more good than harm)… There’s a smart tactic called ‘damage limitation’, it does not only exist in wars and battles, extends to way beyond that…
Couple or so people very, very worthy of a salutation:
S- I don’t care if I don’t interact with you for ‘eons’ so to speak, I/we don’t need to… It’s the type of unique thing where you don’t have to go through the typical formalities of staying in touch and all that crap that is so cliché … X
D- Well, you’re adorable in every single ‘snacking’ way =)
M- I wish ‘they’ could see you the way I see you...
G- I wish you would get off that edge and come back to your senses sooner rather than later… Hope it’s not too late, because you’re losing your real friends to gain some plastic friends… Trust me fella, it will be a very painful fall from grace when you fall down from that throne that you happen to be sitting on so high up there in the clouds…
L- Miss you!
I- Such a shame… Expected way more, too bad the fake façade is overwhelmingly convincing in your case
Saturday, November 22, 2008
November drizzle
So, it's already November, I don't even remember the last time I updated this little blog of mine… What have I been up to? Not that many (Or anyone for that matter) would care or even have the slightest interest, but here goes nevertheless: Work, socializing, partying (Soberly, as usual) and trancing. Not much has changed then, eh? That’s what you might think, but photography has been missing from my list of activities for quite a while… I am still that geek who carries his camera with its full gear (Minus that Sigma 70-300 zoom lens which I wonder why I bought it, I think it’s because it was rather cheap, and for the wannabe stalker that lies within)... I still love photography, but haven’t have had much time to go on those shooting trips, which is a pity, especially since the weather has been improving tremendously lately. I like this month.
Work, well, I am learning to cope with stress, emotions, deadlines, “urgent” tasks and assignments which were eternally ‘pending’ yet suddenly become increasingly important out of the blue, but hey, that is work. Learning to deal with people, learn new things every single day, BEING BUSY! I am quite thankful that I eventually landed this job, especially considering the crisis in world economy, and the announced and unannounced layoffs that have been on the increase for the past two or so months in Dubai… The more fortunate companies are freezing their recruitment; the very fortunate ones are going ahead with their plans and projects. Something that makes me look forward to the coming months is the fact that things will get even busier, with two whole projects coming online in the next 6-8 months, and countless others (Well, depending on how the economy goes worldwide, since the others are not in Dubai)… I hope I will still be in the company by then, and hopefully my plans of continuing my studies will go unscathed despite everything… One word: Hamdella… Hamdella for everything, having a great family that haven’ pressurized me and gave me nothing but continuous endless support no matter what, being at a decent company with a good and relatively stable job within the field I studied and for lovely friends (Husam, Suha, Rasha, Mirna, Amal, Noreen, Zeina, Ghada, Mohammed, Cristina, Khaled, Marcus, Rania, Nassouh, Heba, Zayna, Saeed, Sheena, Lisa and countless others, you know yourselves :))
Useless and irrelevant piece of information there- I am at work doing the late shift today, obviously I haven’t had much to do in the last 15 or so minutes so I decided to blog, I am officially done for the day, so I guess I will wrap up this little post here, in the hope that I will get to update this further later on.
p.s. “Z” suggested that such postings should be kept to myself, and that they shouldn’t be shared, I beg to differ there though… There is a reason why I haven’t removed all the old posts, even the cheesy and teenager-ish ones (To be specific, ones relating to that ungrateful cunt I once adored, excuse my abusvie language there, but I think I am actually complimenting her with those words, and yes, I am ungrateful myself I reckon). They (Old posts) are there for nostalgic value, also, to be an eternal reminder of how everything changes and that the only fucking constant is change. Till this day I cannot explain things or make sense of what happened, but maybe it is better that way… Someone told me that in such situations, (Won’t call it a break-up, we were never together in the first place) you never know how it is at the other person’s end. Another reason is to be a bold reminder of how naïve I am, and how naïve I will always be, I’m not the brightest star in the sky, but I sure can be a force to reckon with when my mind is set to do or achieve something, like father, like son (God bless him).
Work, well, I am learning to cope with stress, emotions, deadlines, “urgent” tasks and assignments which were eternally ‘pending’ yet suddenly become increasingly important out of the blue, but hey, that is work. Learning to deal with people, learn new things every single day, BEING BUSY! I am quite thankful that I eventually landed this job, especially considering the crisis in world economy, and the announced and unannounced layoffs that have been on the increase for the past two or so months in Dubai… The more fortunate companies are freezing their recruitment; the very fortunate ones are going ahead with their plans and projects. Something that makes me look forward to the coming months is the fact that things will get even busier, with two whole projects coming online in the next 6-8 months, and countless others (Well, depending on how the economy goes worldwide, since the others are not in Dubai)… I hope I will still be in the company by then, and hopefully my plans of continuing my studies will go unscathed despite everything… One word: Hamdella… Hamdella for everything, having a great family that haven’ pressurized me and gave me nothing but continuous endless support no matter what, being at a decent company with a good and relatively stable job within the field I studied and for lovely friends (Husam, Suha, Rasha, Mirna, Amal, Noreen, Zeina, Ghada, Mohammed, Cristina, Khaled, Marcus, Rania, Nassouh, Heba, Zayna, Saeed, Sheena, Lisa and countless others, you know yourselves :))
Useless and irrelevant piece of information there- I am at work doing the late shift today, obviously I haven’t had much to do in the last 15 or so minutes so I decided to blog, I am officially done for the day, so I guess I will wrap up this little post here, in the hope that I will get to update this further later on.
p.s. “Z” suggested that such postings should be kept to myself, and that they shouldn’t be shared, I beg to differ there though… There is a reason why I haven’t removed all the old posts, even the cheesy and teenager-ish ones (To be specific, ones relating to that ungrateful cunt I once adored, excuse my abusvie language there, but I think I am actually complimenting her with those words, and yes, I am ungrateful myself I reckon). They (Old posts) are there for nostalgic value, also, to be an eternal reminder of how everything changes and that the only fucking constant is change. Till this day I cannot explain things or make sense of what happened, but maybe it is better that way… Someone told me that in such situations, (Won’t call it a break-up, we were never together in the first place) you never know how it is at the other person’s end. Another reason is to be a bold reminder of how naïve I am, and how naïve I will always be, I’m not the brightest star in the sky, but I sure can be a force to reckon with when my mind is set to do or achieve something, like father, like son (God bless him).
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Omar...
... wonders if you are wondering about the same thing that he is wondering about (In typical facebook status fashion)
Saturday, May 17, 2008
In & Out
Moving out in about 2-3 weeks, graduating in 40 or so days, not bad, eh?
Most of the stuff (Read: Crap) that had to be sorted out for our house have more or less been taken care of, it’s being painted now, so we are waiting till that is done, then the curtains people will install the er, curtains… Guess after that it’s just a matter of organizing the deliveries of the furniture from the various shops, guess it will be a pain in the backside (From a logistical perspective)… Garden needs a lot of work apparently, but that will be taken care of too… Electronics will be a hassle too, making sure everything works, the satellite, telephone and internet subscriptions all up and running (I’m kind of excited about the wireless, hope we’ll be able to make it reach every bit of the whole thing, including the backyard :)).
Spider (The cat) will have his small tiny opening where he will be locked up when he is being naughty or when someone is trying to get some sleep in the living room but can’t because he keeps on jumping on them. Will keep his food in my room so he kind of gets attached to it (My room that is, he is already attached to food, lazy fat arsed cat!)
Mmm, what else? Dissertation is the same, slow progress, but getting somewhere, I still find it quite irrelevant to our future careers, and way too academic for people in the fourth year of a hotel management degree, an industry that requires more practical and operational knowledge and awareness, not theoretical and/or academic… But anyway, I guess this is the case with other majors, heck, a friend of mine did film making and had to do a dissertation as well, so there you go.
Photography-wise, had the first shoot with a friend in a long time recently, was quite fun and I liked the outcome of the pictures in general… Got to try different settings that I didn’t experiment with before, and realized that my general lens is quite crap (For the fellow photography and Canon geeks: Sigma 18-200 OS)… Mind you, it’s OK, but as I found out myself, it’s not the best out there. Next on my list: Either a fish-eye lens or the long awaited wide-angle lens! (Sigma 10-20mm!)
Summer plans, mentioned that in a previous post? Not quite sure. Confirmed: Jordan (*Yawn*) in August with the family. NOT confirmed: Jordan and Germany in July with a couple of friends. Wonder how many graduation gifts one can ask for :P
A small rant- I just hope people would stop asking me “Oh, you haven’t finished it yet?” when they ask about the dissertation, it’s not your typical kind of school project that you can finish from start to finish in two days (Or less).
Football: Would rather not go in to that, didn’t have a lot of expectations this year, and we (Liverpool) had a disappointing season in the premier league… Our showing in Europe is a plus, wasn’t the main objective, although I admit reaching the European cup final for the 3rd time in FOUR years would have been quite remarkable, but as said before, fate can be a little slut sometimes, we rode our luck against Inter and Arsenal (and on other occasions in previous seasons), so it was about time that the run of luck ended… Torres , Babel and Mascherano are bloody legends though… Well, till next season… I just hope the bloody Tom Hicks don’t fvk things up all over again as they did before :(… and in Rafa we trust!
p.s. I don’t think I really believe in the sayings “They are no longer on speaking terms” & “Their relationship is beyond repair”. That is how the media describe the defunct relationship between the owners of Liverpool, Tom Hicks and George Gillette. I mean I know that they don't talk to each other, but I am referring to myself, for some reason I don't think that such things on a personal level are "beyond repair"... Guess I'm quite stubborn...
Most of the stuff (Read: Crap) that had to be sorted out for our house have more or less been taken care of, it’s being painted now, so we are waiting till that is done, then the curtains people will install the er, curtains… Guess after that it’s just a matter of organizing the deliveries of the furniture from the various shops, guess it will be a pain in the backside (From a logistical perspective)… Garden needs a lot of work apparently, but that will be taken care of too… Electronics will be a hassle too, making sure everything works, the satellite, telephone and internet subscriptions all up and running (I’m kind of excited about the wireless, hope we’ll be able to make it reach every bit of the whole thing, including the backyard :)).
Spider (The cat) will have his small tiny opening where he will be locked up when he is being naughty or when someone is trying to get some sleep in the living room but can’t because he keeps on jumping on them. Will keep his food in my room so he kind of gets attached to it (My room that is, he is already attached to food, lazy fat arsed cat!)
Mmm, what else? Dissertation is the same, slow progress, but getting somewhere, I still find it quite irrelevant to our future careers, and way too academic for people in the fourth year of a hotel management degree, an industry that requires more practical and operational knowledge and awareness, not theoretical and/or academic… But anyway, I guess this is the case with other majors, heck, a friend of mine did film making and had to do a dissertation as well, so there you go.
Photography-wise, had the first shoot with a friend in a long time recently, was quite fun and I liked the outcome of the pictures in general… Got to try different settings that I didn’t experiment with before, and realized that my general lens is quite crap (For the fellow photography and Canon geeks: Sigma 18-200 OS)… Mind you, it’s OK, but as I found out myself, it’s not the best out there. Next on my list: Either a fish-eye lens or the long awaited wide-angle lens! (Sigma 10-20mm!)
Summer plans, mentioned that in a previous post? Not quite sure. Confirmed: Jordan (*Yawn*) in August with the family. NOT confirmed: Jordan and Germany in July with a couple of friends. Wonder how many graduation gifts one can ask for :P
A small rant- I just hope people would stop asking me “Oh, you haven’t finished it yet?” when they ask about the dissertation, it’s not your typical kind of school project that you can finish from start to finish in two days (Or less).
Football: Would rather not go in to that, didn’t have a lot of expectations this year, and we (Liverpool) had a disappointing season in the premier league… Our showing in Europe is a plus, wasn’t the main objective, although I admit reaching the European cup final for the 3rd time in FOUR years would have been quite remarkable, but as said before, fate can be a little slut sometimes, we rode our luck against Inter and Arsenal (and on other occasions in previous seasons), so it was about time that the run of luck ended… Torres , Babel and Mascherano are bloody legends though… Well, till next season… I just hope the bloody Tom Hicks don’t fvk things up all over again as they did before :(… and in Rafa we trust!
p.s. I don’t think I really believe in the sayings “They are no longer on speaking terms” & “Their relationship is beyond repair”. That is how the media describe the defunct relationship between the owners of Liverpool, Tom Hicks and George Gillette. I mean I know that they don't talk to each other, but I am referring to myself, for some reason I don't think that such things on a personal level are "beyond repair"... Guess I'm quite stubborn...
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Moving out, dissertation and so-called relationships
Just to let you know, half of this was typed on Thursday May 8th, while the remainder was typed on the morning of Friday May 10th. (As if anyone gives a carrot).
So, thanks to the “Jumeirah Garden City” project we are forced to move out from our ‘headquarters’ (As mentioned in the previous post). A project that nobody knows exactly anything about, nobody has the master plan and nobody knows how it will look like. All what is known now is that they are demolishing small areas of land here and there. Based on two maps that indicate that the compound we live in is amongst those set to be destroyed, we decided that maybe we should just stop wondering whether it is true or not and start looking for a new place. We found a new one pretty quickly and got the contractual agreements and stuff sorted out, but the problems increase by the day. Furniture that is “definitely available” now suddenly becomes sold out the next day, promises by the landlord to do some basic maintenance works before we move out are never carried out and keep on getting delayed, snags in the bathrooms and in general are another worry that the mysterious landlord is not really bothered about (We have to deal with someone else). But to be fair, most of these problems just need a bit of work and patience, and even if they are not sorted, some of them are not major problems… Should be staying there in about two or so weeks hopefully, so let’s see how things turn out. It’s significantly bigger than our current ‘crib’, it’s near my university (As if it makes a difference now, when I have less than 2 months to finish off my last semester!), closer to where my father works and the school of my small sister.
University is alright, barely going there anymore, this dissertation is quite endless though, taking ages just to do the preliminary stuff like the literature review and the pilot study, but it should sort itself out with time and as I get used to working on it, dread going to the library and looking for resources to analyze information and such. But one’s gotta do what one’s gotta do I guess, it is not like I will get to spend much time ever again there after the end of these two not-so-lovely months, and by the way, this is the point in time in every semester that I start contemplating whether such courses and projects are relevant at all. On one hand, it should be useful when (And if) I decide to pursue a masters degree, but otherwise, what good would a dissertation be really in this major? So far I only see it as a corner-cutting practice to make up the total number of required credit hours (It’s worth nine credit hours, rather than the typical three, yey).
Starting to look for a job, but not so intensely, no rush, I’ll have to work and build my career for the rest of my sad life anyway. Talking about ‘sad lives’, I guess I already lead one. When it takes you more than a year (And counting) to get over someone who doesn’t really care or even remember you, then that is quite sad indeed. I guess it is part of my personality, that, along with the small incident I ranted about on DeviantArt with the so-called ‘consultant’ kind of proved to me that I find it quite hard to take things in my stride and more importantly, accepting that rejection is something ‘normal’ and not that awful really. Maybe I should write a bit about my take on relationships, but I have limited experience with that, heck, I never even dated properly (Or at all) in the first place… But on a second thought, you never know… All I can say is that the fear of rejection and losing not only a friend, but a loved one, makes it quite complicated and complex to get into one, I never really believed in casual relationships either.
God knows when I will have a second read of this and realise the ridiculous amount of similarly ridiculous spelling and grammar mistakes this post has, just like all the others
So, thanks to the “Jumeirah Garden City” project we are forced to move out from our ‘headquarters’ (As mentioned in the previous post). A project that nobody knows exactly anything about, nobody has the master plan and nobody knows how it will look like. All what is known now is that they are demolishing small areas of land here and there. Based on two maps that indicate that the compound we live in is amongst those set to be destroyed, we decided that maybe we should just stop wondering whether it is true or not and start looking for a new place. We found a new one pretty quickly and got the contractual agreements and stuff sorted out, but the problems increase by the day. Furniture that is “definitely available” now suddenly becomes sold out the next day, promises by the landlord to do some basic maintenance works before we move out are never carried out and keep on getting delayed, snags in the bathrooms and in general are another worry that the mysterious landlord is not really bothered about (We have to deal with someone else). But to be fair, most of these problems just need a bit of work and patience, and even if they are not sorted, some of them are not major problems… Should be staying there in about two or so weeks hopefully, so let’s see how things turn out. It’s significantly bigger than our current ‘crib’, it’s near my university (As if it makes a difference now, when I have less than 2 months to finish off my last semester!), closer to where my father works and the school of my small sister.
University is alright, barely going there anymore, this dissertation is quite endless though, taking ages just to do the preliminary stuff like the literature review and the pilot study, but it should sort itself out with time and as I get used to working on it, dread going to the library and looking for resources to analyze information and such. But one’s gotta do what one’s gotta do I guess, it is not like I will get to spend much time ever again there after the end of these two not-so-lovely months, and by the way, this is the point in time in every semester that I start contemplating whether such courses and projects are relevant at all. On one hand, it should be useful when (And if) I decide to pursue a masters degree, but otherwise, what good would a dissertation be really in this major? So far I only see it as a corner-cutting practice to make up the total number of required credit hours (It’s worth nine credit hours, rather than the typical three, yey).
Starting to look for a job, but not so intensely, no rush, I’ll have to work and build my career for the rest of my sad life anyway. Talking about ‘sad lives’, I guess I already lead one. When it takes you more than a year (And counting) to get over someone who doesn’t really care or even remember you, then that is quite sad indeed. I guess it is part of my personality, that, along with the small incident I ranted about on DeviantArt with the so-called ‘consultant’ kind of proved to me that I find it quite hard to take things in my stride and more importantly, accepting that rejection is something ‘normal’ and not that awful really. Maybe I should write a bit about my take on relationships, but I have limited experience with that, heck, I never even dated properly (Or at all) in the first place… But on a second thought, you never know… All I can say is that the fear of rejection and losing not only a friend, but a loved one, makes it quite complicated and complex to get into one, I never really believed in casual relationships either.
God knows when I will have a second read of this and realise the ridiculous amount of similarly ridiculous spelling and grammar mistakes this post has, just like all the others
Friday, April 25, 2008
Again...
All this happened recently...
I quit smoking (Last night’s puffs of a messed up argeelah don’t count)
Started working out
Did something stupid
Wished I could be somewhere else
Almost got into another retarded accident in the university’s parking lot
Stayed awake for 20+ hours and slept for the following 18 hours
Tried to convince myself of some fundamental issues, but to no avail
Got myself yet another camera
Thought about the past 12 or so years spent at our soon to be demolished ‘home’, thus, leading to an actual state of “looking for a place called home”
Had a few nightmares and déjà vu moments, not good
Got back to reality, maybe I should just hide in my bedroom forever
Realised that some things are significantly easier said than done
Found out the hard way that karma and fate can be a little slut sometimes
I quit smoking (Last night’s puffs of a messed up argeelah don’t count)
Started working out
Did something stupid
Wished I could be somewhere else
Almost got into another retarded accident in the university’s parking lot
Stayed awake for 20+ hours and slept for the following 18 hours
Tried to convince myself of some fundamental issues, but to no avail
Got myself yet another camera
Thought about the past 12 or so years spent at our soon to be demolished ‘home’, thus, leading to an actual state of “looking for a place called home”
Had a few nightmares and déjà vu moments, not good
Got back to reality, maybe I should just hide in my bedroom forever
Realised that some things are significantly easier said than done
Found out the hard way that karma and fate can be a little slut sometimes
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
The art of dissing
Typed this around 24 hours ago, couldn’t upload it due to the internet issue I had (mentioned below). Happy reading
This is endless… Well, endless for three more months… Doing a dissertation, as I am sadly finding out is not something that you can finish huge chunks of quickly, it's a tedious, continuous and painstakingly endless process of work, work and more work… Once you have something in place you have to re-do it, re-look at it, examine it, analyze it and you can't just 'finish it', you have to go back to it at some latter point… It is something you have to follow through rigorously, it's true that this should be the case with everything really, but I'm finding out by doing this that I am NOT a perfectionist, I don't like relooking at things I already did, because I don't like finding silly mistakes that are always bound to be there, not the most professional attitude, and definitely not one for someone who claims to try to improve himself, but hey, nobody is perfect. I try to make the original as good as possible… Although I have to succumb eventually and ask someone to proof read it for my lazy ass.
Been having router problems for the past three or so hours, relying on an unreliable and unsecured network from one of our lovely neighbours to access the internet, thankfully I don't need it desperately now, but it's just annoying… Especially when the internet connection has supposedly been 'upgraded', something that we're yet to experience, hope this router failure and my persistent nagging will lead to even more changes in the I.T. Infrastructure at the O residences
For the time being, I have to find a way to motivate myself to read at least two more articles
This is endless… Well, endless for three more months… Doing a dissertation, as I am sadly finding out is not something that you can finish huge chunks of quickly, it's a tedious, continuous and painstakingly endless process of work, work and more work… Once you have something in place you have to re-do it, re-look at it, examine it, analyze it and you can't just 'finish it', you have to go back to it at some latter point… It is something you have to follow through rigorously, it's true that this should be the case with everything really, but I'm finding out by doing this that I am NOT a perfectionist, I don't like relooking at things I already did, because I don't like finding silly mistakes that are always bound to be there, not the most professional attitude, and definitely not one for someone who claims to try to improve himself, but hey, nobody is perfect. I try to make the original as good as possible… Although I have to succumb eventually and ask someone to proof read it for my lazy ass.
Been having router problems for the past three or so hours, relying on an unreliable and unsecured network from one of our lovely neighbours to access the internet, thankfully I don't need it desperately now, but it's just annoying… Especially when the internet connection has supposedly been 'upgraded', something that we're yet to experience, hope this router failure and my persistent nagging will lead to even more changes in the I.T. Infrastructure at the O residences
For the time being, I have to find a way to motivate myself to read at least two more articles
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Getting there
Funny ol’ game.
I had my first job interview yesterday, I like to convince myself that I did well, thanks 4-years of studying (almost) and my relatively limited experience in life and half-decent talking skills. I doubt I will be offered anything since the property doesn’t open for another 3 years, but we’ll see... Haven’t had interviews for quite a while... The school work has more or less reached a halt, couldn’t motivate myself to continue, but will try to be slightly productive today, somehow.
Random- I wish I could harm someone, had the opportunity before but couldn’t, maybe I’m either too ‘nice’ or just too stupid. Cannot understand you anymore, I guess this is what happens when the person in front of you is either extremely intelligent, or absolutely retarded.
I had my first job interview yesterday, I like to convince myself that I did well, thanks 4-years of studying (almost) and my relatively limited experience in life and half-decent talking skills. I doubt I will be offered anything since the property doesn’t open for another 3 years, but we’ll see... Haven’t had interviews for quite a while... The school work has more or less reached a halt, couldn’t motivate myself to continue, but will try to be slightly productive today, somehow.
Random- I wish I could harm someone, had the opportunity before but couldn’t, maybe I’m either too ‘nice’ or just too stupid. Cannot understand you anymore, I guess this is what happens when the person in front of you is either extremely intelligent, or absolutely retarded.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
False state
One of those long days, practically almost over, should be asleep and get ready for an even more hectic day, running out of time while still being in my comfort zone, not realising that it’s time to start doing actual work. Keeping on convincing myself that I have half the work cut out by my previous efforts before the little logic in my head tells me that it’s not enough, endless cycle really. Losing track of my surroundings; I admit I never had a proper sense of place or time (Especially the latter), so when someone like me says that, than that means something! At this very moment, I think I’m taking things for granted. Not good.
I feel the whole of 2007 has come and again very quickly, it wasn’t a particularly bad year or anything, in fact, it was probably another major turning point, but still, when I look back at general trivial events like the last world cup, when I got my car, certain courses and some events, I get the feeling that the whole year didn’t even count or exist in the calendar... Seems I’m not the only one with that damned sentiment either, “N” is there too... Can’t blame her, more or less similar situations, but some people have more at stake than others. Waiting, praying and hoping does not always yield positive results, learning that the hard way
Trying to figure out my mental strength is not easy, or fun...
I feel the whole of 2007 has come and again very quickly, it wasn’t a particularly bad year or anything, in fact, it was probably another major turning point, but still, when I look back at general trivial events like the last world cup, when I got my car, certain courses and some events, I get the feeling that the whole year didn’t even count or exist in the calendar... Seems I’m not the only one with that damned sentiment either, “N” is there too... Can’t blame her, more or less similar situations, but some people have more at stake than others. Waiting, praying and hoping does not always yield positive results, learning that the hard way
Trying to figure out my mental strength is not easy, or fun...
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Projectation
One week into the semester and I haven’t done ANYTHING for my dissertation, I don’t have a research question, haven’t considered the variables, NOTHING... I guess I will use the excuse of having another project to worry about when I meet my supervisor tomorrow afternoon. I still have the gut feeling that it should not be as hard as I imagine or as hard as they try to make us think...
Have to give credit to K for an amazing set, as usual, brought back many memories of starting to listen to trance, old car, old friends, old everything that reminds me of those times two or three years ago... Didn’t hear the whole thing yet, but hearing Ferry Corsten’s remix of Aven’s “All I want” was more than enough I guess! Ferry at his best probably
As far as R is concerned, I wish he’d stop confusing me and giving me those scares every now and then. Had a good weekend though, didn’t do much school-related, but still...
One last thing- Etisalat = Greed!
Have to give credit to K for an amazing set, as usual, brought back many memories of starting to listen to trance, old car, old friends, old everything that reminds me of those times two or three years ago... Didn’t hear the whole thing yet, but hearing Ferry Corsten’s remix of Aven’s “All I want” was more than enough I guess! Ferry at his best probably
As far as R is concerned, I wish he’d stop confusing me and giving me those scares every now and then. Had a good weekend though, didn’t do much school-related, but still...
One last thing- Etisalat = Greed!
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