Right now

I’m knackered and half asleep as I lie on my bed with one eyelid open that is struggling to focus on the screen (I’m long-sighted, you know, or whatever the proper medical term for that is). For some reason I’m compelling myself to half-arsedly type this up

So, it seems that everything in my life is nicely falling into place, all but one thing. It’s fascinating how God tests our patience and our willingness to move forward in life. I’m rapidly jumping to a conclusion that I fathomed and digested a couple of years ago before I indifferently decided to chuck it outside the window and just start having a new outlook based on a nonexistent recipe.

That simple (defunct) recipe/perspective used 2 years ago stipulated the basics: Easy come easy go, and whatever you don’t strive and work hard for just loses its allure, value and meaning.

Maybe there is no test here. Maybe it is just a part of my life that I should learn to live with rather than try and alter. Maybe I’m destined to be a ‘giver’ in this life rather than a taker (Well, to a certain extent). Maybe it’s better to be misunderstood than to be exploited and vulnerable once found out. Open books are not as fascinating as dark, twisted and deceitful novels that twitch every existing cell in that brain of yours.

M&M- Thanks =)